Just a Little Humor
by strangely-wise
Summary: This is a collection of drabbles, one shots, and short stories about the world of Inuyasha. Most of these are Sesshomaru related...'cause he's my favorite...  REALLY old work. The REAL humor in this is how bad I was at writing.
1. Arts and Crafts

**Art and Crafts**

We just had to run into then. Also, why did Rin have to give me her big, hopeful, brown eyes?  
>Then Jaken just had to make it worse by squealing his objections. I think I'm starting to get a headache. Maybe I should borrow that 'Advil' that Priestess always has.<br>Now my little ward is playing with the little demon kitsune with some 'glitter' and 'glue'. Rin was very generous with the glue and dumping glitter every which way.  
>When it came time to go, Rin flashed me her chocolaty, childish eyes and I somehow gave her a nod of approval. I have gone soft for this girl.<br>So we made camp with the Priestess, and my oh-so-loathed half-brother, and soon everyone was asleep, except for my half-brother, glaring at me from across the campsite. Getting bored, I picked up one of the glue containers and inspected it.  
>Trying to figure out how it opened, I finally twisted the orange tip and the white goo spilled out. Marveling in the strange feeling, I let the glue crawl down my hand, and let it drip onto my clothing.<br>After emptying its contents, I dropped the bottle and let the glue spill onto my other hand.  
>"What are you doing?" Inuyasha scathed, suddenly right by me.<br>Instead of answering him, I decided to clean the glue off via his red clothing. I mentally smirked as he gave me a look of disbelief and anger when Inuyasha looked down to my offending hand.  
>I took my hand away and let him look at the white smear over his clothing. Then Inuyasha reeled back his arm and threw the first punch.<br>Easily catching the clenched fist, I shoved Inuyasha into a nearby tree, and let poison secrete out of my claws.  
>Now, I suddenly felt the glue hardening, reacting to my poison. But in my sudden lapse of attention, Inuyasha shoved himself off of the tree and stumbled onto my glue smeared clothes.<br>When Inuyasha tried to jump away, he noticed that we were now glued together.  
>Great, so now I had his fist stuck to my palm and had my welded to his throat. Sighing, I wished I had glued my hand over his mouth.<p>

~~::~~

I woke from a peaceful night's sleep to hear bickering from Inuyasha and squabbling from Jaken.  
>"Inuyasha, sit." I said simply, hopefully ending the argument.<br>"Kagome! Come and get us out of here!" I heard his strangled cry. I sleepily walked around the corner, and came upon one of the oddest of scenes.  
>The great Lord Sesshomaru was holding Inuyasha's fist and neck, looking extremely bored, as usual.<br>Suddenly, Sesshomaru turned his blank expression on me. I tried not to look away, but I blinked furiously like an idiot.  
>"Miko, get..." He paused and let Inuyasha receive a hate-filled glare, "... this thing off of This Sesshomaru."<br>One glace at his serious face and I dove into my bag. I went through the too many pockets and finally found what I needed.  
>"No! Not that!" Inuyasha protested, seeing the bottle of the nail polish remover out of my bag. When I aproached the two, Inuyasha was trying in vain to rip himself free of Lord Sesshomaru, and adamant in saying how horrible it smelled.<br>Pouring the liquid into a rag, Sesshomaru's nose scrunched, but his reaction was nothing like Inuyasha's, who was already looking woozy. As I dabbed the damp rag onto Sesshomaru's hand and felt Inuyasha go limp, just like last time.  
>I sighed and moved onto the hand with Inuyasha's fist in it. Lord Sesshomaru made no movement as I did this, so I didn't bother to look up. For if I did look up, I would have predicted what would have happened next. Because all of a sudden, Seshomaru fell backwards, effectively tearing the clothes and hand from Inuyasha.<br>Shocked, I looked over to see that the Great Lord of the Western Lands Sesshomaru had passed out by...yep...nail polish remover.


	2. Rin Starts Dating

**Rin Starts Dating**

He knew it was only a matter of time before this happened. Human years pass by so fast, it seemed that only yesterday that she was asking for bigger clothes.

Now Rin insists on going to the market so she can get some new clothes and accessories, then go to the Priestess Kagome to ask for 'cosmetics'.

Rin and the females of my loathed half-brother's traveling party had really started to bond . So ever since that happened, she went into the 'terrible teens' at merely ten.

Rin is now sixteen now, and she comes up saying that a man that goes by the name of Kohaku wanted to take her out to dinner.

"So he wants to court you." I stated knowing the true intentions going through that boys mind.

"No. He wants to take me out on a date." Oh, how I wish I could just smack that look off Rin's face. You know the look that seems to shout, 'You are so stupid!' But, I cannot, for in the short eight years that she has traveled with me, had made her a tender spot in my heart.

Yes. I, the great and fearless Lord Sesshomaru of the Western Lands, has a weakness. A weakness in the form of a mouthy teenage girl, which had recently, became obsessed with 'boys.'

"That is what I said. Also, no, I will not allow you to go anywhere with that boy until I meet him." I dictated, already planning to scare the boy off.

I noticed her slight frown as she turned out the door without a word. She knew it was useless arguing with me when I used that tone.

"Fine." Rin finally grumbled as she stomped out of my study. When she shut the door I heard her grumbling something about, 'Dream Killing' and 'Hope Crushers'. Oh, the joys of being a guardian.

The next night I met this Kohaku. He seemed familiar to me somehow, probably from Rin's child hood or the spawn if one of my many enemies. Kohaku's features were reminiscent of the other female in Inyasha's party, Sango.

Looking him over, I could tell he was tense about something, I couldn't fathom why, I was only there to warn him if he did anything funny I would kill him.

We walked into the sitting room; I noticed that he had definitely been in combat before from the scars that sprinkled Kohaku's body. This pleased me; at least he won't go down without a fight, and I like to fight.

When we finally sat down, I asked Rin to go get some tea for our guest. She gave me a wary look, but walked out the door towards the kitchen.

As soon as I knew that she was gone, I stood up and walked over to Kohaku, who was staring wistfully at the door Rin just exited. "Tell me about yourself." I ordered.

I saw him flinch away from the door and tried to answer my question. Clearing his throat, he stuttered, "Um...uh... I like to—" He was interrupted by my hand clenched around his throat.

Hearing him speak, it triggered something within me that wanted desperately to protect Rin. There was this nagging feeling that I should remember something, something important. Something that told me he should not be here.

"Who are you?" I growled menacingly in his ear. I needed to know who he was and why my senses were going haywire by the mere sound of his voice.

I loosened my death grip so he could whisper his answer. "I am Kohaku, the younger brother of Sango—" He was silenced once again by my claws around his neck.

All of the memories came flooding into the forefront of my mind. A young boy, kneeling over a smaller Rin, poised to kill her. Eyes devoid of fear or emotion, his arm swinging down to Rin's unconscious body.

I felt my eyes glow red and my claws itch with green poison. "I'm not afraid to kill you." I snarled, letting him drop onto the floor, "But if you do not leave this second, I will."

Looking one last time into my crimson eyes, he got up and stumbled out of the room, holding his neck.

I stood there in the middle of the room, trying to convince myself of reasons not to kill Kohaku.

_'He tried to kill Rin!_' I thought.

_'Kohaku was possessed by Naraku at the time.' _Another annoying voice said.

_"Naraku, Kohaku. They rhyme! It must mean they're both evil!' _I argued back.

_'Just because the names rhyme doesn't mean they're both evil.'_ The more sensible voice stated.

_'But—' _I was cut off by the scent of Rin's blood and the crash glass. I raced towards the scene and saw Rin had just cut her finger on the side of a chipped tea set, that now on the ground in hundreds of pieces.

I took hold of her bleeding hand and started to bandage it.

"No more boys." I declared.


	3. Should've Said No SongFic

**Should've Said No by Taylor Swift**  
><strong>Kagome's thoughts about what Inuyasha's been doing behind her back with Kikyo.<strong>

_It's strange to think the songs we used to sing_

All the time, we would sing to pass the time on our journeys, but he just had to ruin it.

_The smiles, the flowers, everything, is gone_

The little smiles he would give me, the very rare occurrence of flowers finding their way into my big yellow bag. That's all gone now. All because of him, and her.

_Yesterday I found out about you_

Sango came running to me last night, she told me all about what Inuyasha was doing. How she found Inuyasha in the forest, kissing Kikyo. At first I didn't believe her. I refused to believe her. Didn't Inuyasha love me? Sango dragged me out into the forest and showed me. Well, things had progressed from the kiss.

_Even now just looking at you feels wrong_

When Inuyasha walked into our campsite, I had to ignore him, I couldn't even look at him without cringing with memory of what he did. I finally decided to confront him, with a dark conclusion in my eyes.

_You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance_

Now we were in a heated argument.

"Kagome! You know I would never do it again! If Kikyo did that again I would say 'no'!" Inuyasha yelled at me from across the clearing. Sango had ushered everyone out earlier when she saw me heading towards the traitor.

_It was a moment of weakness and you said, 'Yes'_

"I was weak, I admit! She caught me at a bad time and I said okay!" Inuyasha continued.

_You should've said no,_

"You should have said no in the first place!" I screamed. Inuyasha ears flattened against his head and his eyes widened.

_You should've gone home,_

"You should've come right back to the campsite!" Inuyasha shied away as I took a step closer.

_You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go,_

"Did it even enter you mind that what you were doing is wrong?" I continued my rant, pacing back and forth in front of him.

_You should've known that word, that what you did with her, get back to me,_

"How long were you going to keep this little affair from me, huh!"

_And I should've been there, in the back of your mind,_

"You should've thought of what this would do to the group! What it would do to me!" I cried as I took several steps closer, now I was about five feet away.

_I shouldn't be asking myself why,_

"Why didn't you think of that!" I continued. Now Inuyasha was scrambling away from my rage.

_You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet,_

I paused to let him try to speak. "I'm sorry Kagome! I should've said no!" He cried, trying to get me to forgive him. 'Not that easy, Inuyasha.' I thought.

_You should've said no, baby, and you might still have me_

"Yes. You should've said no." Was all I said before I walked off to continue this later. I needed a hot bath.

_You can see that I've been crying._

He walked in from another night with that clay pot. I tried to hide my tears from my heartbreak, but he knew.

_And, baby, you know all the right things to say,_

Inuyasha walked over to me and whispered, "That was last time with her. From now on, it's only you, Kagome. We can go back to the way we were."

_But do you honestly except me to believe,_

For a moment, I almost let myself hope that what he said was true.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" I asked him, standing up.

_We could ever be the same_

"Do you really think that we could ever be the same after what you did, what you're still doing?" I said, raising my voice with every word.

_You say that the past is the past, you need one chance_

Inuyasha quickly stood up, "That was then. This is now; the past is the past Kagome. Can you give me one more chance?" He asked, trying to reason with me, trying to win me back.

_It was a moment of weakness and you said, 'Yes'_

"I said yes that time, I was weak Kagome." Inuyasha continued, daring to put his hands on my shoulders.

_You should've said no, _

Disgusted, I shoved him away, and then I got right up in his face, "Why didn't you say no?" I screamed at him.

_You should've gone home,_

"Why didn't you come right back!" I yelled as I stabbed him in the chest with my finger.

_You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go_

"Why didn't you think twice!" I cried, holding two fingers up.

_You should've known that word, 'bout what you did with her, get back to me,_

"Why didn't you think of what would happen when I found out!" I continued, glaring straight into his scared eyes.

_And I should've been there, in the back of your mind_

"Why didn't you think of me?" I put a hand on my heart to emphasize my point.

_I shouldn't be asking myself why_

If you did any of those things, we wouldn't be her right now!" I screamed in his face.

_You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet,_

"Why are even begging for my forgivness?" I said, pushing him onto the ground.

_You should've said no, baby, and you might still have me_

"Why didn't you say no? Because if you did, you might still have me." I stated. Rubbing in the fact that there's no chance in getting me back.

_I can't resist, before you go, tell me this_

"I can't resist asking. So before you leave, tell me..."

_Was it worth it, was she worth this?_

"Was that dead claypot worth it? Was Kikyo worth all of this arguing, worth losing me?" I questioned, waiting for the answer.

_No, no, no, no, no, no_

Inuyasha was on the ground, digging his claws into the ground, and said what he should've said in the first place.

"No." He mumbled with such self hatred that I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

"No, no, no ,no." He kept saying, as if in denial.

Then he looked up at me, "NO! It wasn't worth it! Kikyo wasn't worth it!" He finally admitted.

_You should've said no,_

I smiled at him, a dark, devious smile. Then I said what I had said to him so many times, knowing that this time it won't fall on deaf ears. "You should've said no."

_You should've gone home_

With an almost deadly tone, I continued with the rest of my accusations, "You should've gone home."

_You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go_

"You should've thought twice before you let it all go."

_You should've known that word, 'bout what you did with her would get back to me, _

"You should've known that word, of what you did with her would get back to me."

_And I should've been there, in the back of your mind_

"I should've been there, in the back of your mind."

_I shouldn't be asking myself why_

"I shouldn't be asking myself why."

_You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet,_

"You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at me feet."

_You should've said no,_

"You should've said no."

_Baby, and you might still have me._

For the last part, I leaned in close to one of his ears and whispered, "And you might still have me."

I turned away, picked up my bag, and never spared Inuyasha a backwards glance as I headed towards the well.


End file.
